Sunday, February 3, 2019

Curtains and Valentines

We have really great curtains in our apartment. Once, during our early Bangkok days, I woke up thinking it was 7am, and opened the curtains to the full sun of 11:30. My pupils collapsed.

I can appreciate a good set of curtains, but sometimes their effectiveness is a problem. When I shut off the lights at night, our apartment sinks into absolute darkness. When it's that dark, it doesn't matter that I just saw the room in full light. I lose all sense of perspective and start to get panicky. If I can stick it out, my eyes usually adjust after a minute or two. It's still terrifyingly dark, but at least I can make it from the kitchen to the bedroom without running into a wall.

Actual view of what I see when I shut off all the lights.

Somedays, depending on hormones and how much junk I've read online, I'm too scared to wait for my eyes to adjust, and I have to find another light source to get me across the room. It doesn't take much. I can only see what's immediately in front of me, but it's enough to keep moving.

It's probably inevitable that we'll all experience a time when it feels like someone shut off the lights. We might lose our sense of perspective, or be unable to see a way forward. When it happens, it's not easy to be rational, and it can get scary very quickly. I've written about this a few times in the past, HERE and HERE and HERE, but it boils down to this:

If you're having a hard time, I want you to know that things are not always going to be as dark as they seem right now. You can adapt, and move forward. If you need help, please find it.

If you're doing all right, try to check in with the people around you. Just a little bit of light can make a big difference.

Before I go to bed tonight, I wanted to reach out to you in my own way, to thank you for the many ways you've helped me, and to offer something in return. Valentine's Day is coming soon. There's a real shortage of mandatory paper valentines with regrettable puns in adulthood. I'd like to change that. If you're in need of a little love, send me a message, and I'll send you a valentine. It will be cheesy, and you will love it. That last part isn't a promise, it's a command.

I peaked with this Valentine. Don't expect this. This is a serious valentine.

Take care of yourself.